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Secret Desires, Foreshadowed Destiny

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an entry as Lily [Aug. 20th, 2007|10:39 pm]
Secret Desires, Foreshadowed Destiny

rp_deprived

[ebony_queen]
[Current Location |work]
[mood |confusedconfused]

Something is... has.. happened to me. I don't really know how to explain it. But.. Chris and I get together.. really get together and we are both so miserable. How can I love someone so much but can't be with them? Am I doomed to be alone? I don't see it as fair that he bonded to me as a child, and then now as an adult this link of ours gets tossed aside for Wufei. I.. I am not really mad per say but, we have a son. And.. I am still alone after all is said and done.

Maybe it is better for me in the long run I suppose. I have work, Sylar is still my child even under all the rebellion.. he so inherited that from me. :)

I just.. It seems wrong somehow. I feel like I am in a dream world, where things are all happening around me and nothing i sin my control anymore. I am walking the steps, talking the talk and doing everything that needs to get done without truly living it myself. And.. DC... something seems off with him too. We are talking more than we ever have.. why is it that the man I love pulls away form me and the man I had come to hate comes closer? Nothing is really making sense in my life.. maybe I just need more friends so I don't think about this type of thing.

I do wish Chris well.. I just wish things were making more sense in my own life.. then I could be at ease instead of feelign like I am always on the brink of something.. good or bad I don't know but... I suppose I will find out soon enough.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: v_vandel
2007-08-27 10:50 pm (UTC)
poor lily! Wait she really hated DC at one point? We should work more with them. Also Lily and Sylar... I will try to post something soon
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[User Picture]From: ebony_queen
2007-08-30 01:37 am (UTC)
She doesn't hate him now.. but she did for a long time. He reminds her of her past in which she screwed up royally. She feels more.. unsure about him now than anything else. I will have web vid and voice chat capability a little towards the middle of september. Hopefully we can talk then!! Enjoy Mexico!
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[User Picture]From: v_vandel
2007-09-10 04:21 am (UTC)
0k yay!! ya I really don't remember much of what was going on... but I miss talking!! You'll have to tell me all about your house when we catch up!
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[User Picture]From: ebony_queen
2007-09-10 08:40 am (UTC)
I will for sure! It is hard to remember.. I may randomly write entries just to stay in touch with the characters.. but hell., if we forget we can always just randomly do something and it will come back to us. The next big htign I need to do though is plan a PARTEY for my new place. pretty soon you will be 21 so eveyone can drink with no fear! bwa ha :)
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[User Picture]From: v_vandel
2007-09-12 12:05 am (UTC)
kk sounds like a good plan
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[User Picture]From: ebony_queen
2007-09-21 06:00 pm (UTC)
man we need skype. LOL. You already got it?
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[User Picture]From: v_vandel
2007-09-28 11:11 pm (UTC)
ya I have it I'm on as v_vandel
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